no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize