butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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