I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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