By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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