you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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