I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize