Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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