hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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