Umm I'm too high to move.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize