we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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