did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So vagazzling was a success
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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