'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize