i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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