so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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