i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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