i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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