just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
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I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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