Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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