but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize