Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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