i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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