a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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