Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize