1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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