Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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