I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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