Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
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Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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