i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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