he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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