you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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