Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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