so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
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In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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