Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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