I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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