Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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