he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize