Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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