I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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