K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Randomize