Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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