your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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