i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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