everyone is single if you try hard enough
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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