and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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