dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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