I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize