so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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