Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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