I just saw a hot homeless man
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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