I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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